Sunday, January 2, 2011

Indian TV and Movies

what they teach us...

1. UV rays are Red(CID).

2. Infra-red rays are Green(Dhoom2).

3. Most guys are cross-dressers, if not, then at least it is a hobby(lots of Indian actors have done this, from the 50s till date. Govinda, Salman Khan, Riteish Deshmukh, Rishi Kapoor and lots more.) And the great thing is that no one notices a difference between a girl and a guy dressed in a girl's clothes; or a man & a woman dressed in a man's outfit..even when the person is sitting right in front of you.

4. Most girls of the 50s-80s India were wealthy college students, while the boys were multi-talented poor chaps, who might have had nothing, but had Ma(mother, the greatest wealth), or some who weren't even that lucky. (watch as many old movies as i have watched and you'll know.)
[this is a great contradiction to the typical Indian scenario, where, even till date, there are families that don't believe in educating the girl child, and some that don't believe in the concept of girl child at all.]

5. Most important point, all Indians are born musicians, they can compose and sing songs within a few minutes, and God or The Universe will provide orchestral music.

6. The bad/cruel girls always look worse than the good-hearted ones, and the cunning guys are Always hideous.

7. Premonitions always come true.

8. Only husbands cheat, never the wives.

9. 20 year old girls are patnis(wives) & bahus(daughter in laws). And no matter how much M(husband) loves T(wife), they will not have any kids for years together. Then suddenly, the studio would want to cast new actors, and voilĂ ! it is 20 years later in the show, and they have grown up kids.

10. Sister-in-laws are always cruel(if you are a girl who has been recently wed) or an object of affection(if you are a boy who has recently been wed. ..or maybe the brother of a girl who has recently been wed.)

11. The film/article that shows your lifetime achievement would be something like this:
                                (Visualise this please)

  •  Learnt how to write 'A' & 'B' and 'a' & 'b'.
  •  Pages and Blackboards full of nonsense.
  • Einstein's mass-energy relation(which is Einstein's!!).
  • Some more pages and white boards and bulletin boards full of crap. Also, stick-notes, window panes, tables, tissues, basically whatever, full of crap.
     All this in 30 seconds, and there you go, your lifetime achievement award... *party!. . .*
     Oh no! this is actually seen in English movies(Hollywood), in Indian television, academics don't exist...

12. Our country doesn't have any such statistics, but you should know that 9 out of 10 twins born in our country are separated at an early age, even within 24hrs of birth sometimes. 

13. The lamest....Most people work just to support their families, as if a person wouldn't want to work if his/her parents were getting enough wages to provide food, clothing & shelter for the family.

14. Although X-rays are used worldwide to see through objects and human flesh(i.e. see bones), but in India, X-ray glasses can be used to see through clothes (i.e. see human flesh).  [remember the X-ray glasses scene in SRK starer Baadshah? i.e. if u have seen this lame film]

this is all i can think of right now. if u have any more, do write in .. :) :P

1 comment:

  1. 5,7,13 r awesome..not to mention there's no 6