That's the last time I saw her healthy. 6 years after she passed away from leukemia, this year, somehow i miss her more than the other yrs, or maybe i miss her equally every yr & it's just in my head that i feel it is stronger each year.
It is very difficult to forget bad things that happen in your life, but do you ever get these fits where these certain good memories, that you didn't think you had any more, just pop up into your head? Well i certainly do.
I don't know whether you read my previous post, but i had promised my blog (:p) that my next post will be a happy one, and i keep my promises, even if they are made to a computer program.
So yesterday i was sitting in my room, doing nothing, as always..this little memory popped into my head of those cool sunny days when i used to sit outside with my grandmother on the folding bed, eat oranges and play around the mulberry bush underneath their apartment. I can not describe the joy i feel just remembering that time.
(I might have never realised the oddness of the fact that there was a mulberry bush in our colony too, but that one was so lame. i hate to talk about it. That one wasn't half as good as the one where my grandma resided.)
And at night, when my granddad was home, i used to lie on the cot with him star gazing.
It is funny i even remember these things, but when i do reminisce, i sometimes get the urge to feel the presence of that amazing mother just once again, to see her, touch her, talk with her..share my life, good or bad, with her. Sometimes i have these dreams where i see her, and then i never want to forget that dream, forget that face i saw, that feeling i felt. . . . You know, i'm extremely happy for the time i got to spend with her and quite regretful for the time i didn't.
At the end of the day, i feel lucky to have been born when i was, 'cos some of my younger cousins would never know her, they never had that chance to spend those amazing years of their lives with her that i did; and that is such a loss.
Nani, I love you.